We perish because we know not… #TLENews
End of the world madness aside (we’re still here duh) we are coming to a close of yet another year. Many folks did not get to see this year end RIP to the CT victims and their families. I am fortunate, and if you are reading this than so are you, to make it to the end of yet another year. It has been quite the year. As I look back and reflect on all that has occurred within the past year I have to measure how I ended the prior year with how I ended this year.
There has been some changes and there has been some things that have remained the same. You can’t win them all I suppose. In changing my approach on certain things let me be open one more time about my life’s ups and downs.
2011 started off a real strong year. Everything was at my disposal. Moves were being made and motion was in place. Alas, I gambled and lost it all. I closed out last year with nothing. Those who know me understand what I mean. I ended up relocating. I came back to my hometown with literally just the clothes on my back. I had no car, I had no money, no phone. Most of my belongings were sold off or abandoned. I went back to a place where people go to die figuratively speaking. I could no longer be dependent on myself to provide for myself. I was in a dark place in a dark time.
One thing I learned in one of my training class this year was to celebrate the little victories. That is something easier said than done when you’re accustomed to having everything under your own control and not have to depend or rely on anyone else for anything. You just went out and made it happen. It was humbling to an extent. I close out this year with a better car than I had before. I close out the year with a better phone than I had before. Shopping was never a “thing” for me so I didn’t splurge this year but I did grab a few items. When you vow never to go back to nothing and it happens anyway, you look at things differently. It really has not been night and day between last year this time and this year this time. Spiritually though, I have come a long way. I still have yet a long way to go on that path albeit I made a few steps. Mentally, for the most part, I’m in a much better place than I was this time last year. Hopefully, getting myself right mentally will help to align other areas of my life.
No New Year’s Resolution but as I look to 2013 there are a few things that I would like to ensure for myself. I spent the better part of the past year avoiding being in relationships. To me, they are poison. That is my opinion and you can choose to disagree all you want and that is your prerogative. They leave me less for wear or however the saying goes. I don’t want a relationship next year. I don’t want the bull that so many confused and broken down women bring along. Good luck chuck. If you don’t understand than read my other blog: http://outtamimind.wordpress.com/2012/10/23/good-luck-chuck/. I am that guy and know it all too well. I can count on more than one hand the ones I’ve “prepared”. I am somewhat bitter about it but I’m being human so whatever. Leave me the hell alone on that tip please. You all say the same things and end the same way. Call it trust issues and whatever they hell you choose but until you don my size 12’s and walk in them for more than a day, your judgement doesn’t hold water like a sieve.
I would like to be 100% committed to me and the accomplishments that benefit me alone. I was doing great getting in shape until I started working from home. That is out the window for 2013. No working from home for me. Everything that I accomplished fitness wise was erased in the span of the last 6 months working from home. That is for the birds.
I am wild at heart. I need to roam. I need to live. I need to be free. A caged bird doesn’t sing, it cries. I will escape captivity in 2013. Next year, I aim to be back on that platform of where nothing happened unless it was my say so. Don’t let life happen to you, you happen to life.
I’m still broken being put back together. Tonight, a familiar feeling came over me. Get yours and keep it moving. No longer do the feelings of the peasants have a hold. The King is back to claim his rightful throne. Get with it or get lost. No pictures, no fluff, just matter of fact and straight to the point.